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9 ways for childminders to fail your Ofsted inspection

Last Updated 27/05/2022

A bit of humour to lighten your day when you are bogged down with the Inspection Handbook  – here are nine guaranteed ways to fail your Ofsted inspection they forgot to include! (Download the photos – they will make you smile). 

1. Remember that Ofsted likes to see well-labelled toy shelves. Especially the ones you use to store the children during the day.

2. When calculating ‘usable floor space’ at your setting, it is not acceptable to count the inside of your fridge.

3. Always serve diet fizzy drinks to any under 5s in your care to show Ofsted that you promote healthy eating.

4. Even if you regularly stack two babies directly on top of each other, they still count as two separate children for your childminding ratios.

5. Remember that according to the EYFS Statutory Framework you must have a teaching license from Hogwarts if you intend to encourage small children to speak Parseltongue so they can talk to snakes

6. While very practical and great for the environment, this is not an Ofsted-approved potty training method.

7. While it is important to encourage independence in matters of self-care, babies should not be expected to change their own nappies

8. If you decide to do a water play structured activity while the inspector is watching, it is considered good practice to buy a dedicated water table.

9. This is not considered to be an acceptable ‘late collection procedure’. Even if the parents are really, really late you must not dump their child on the street outside of your house.

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