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The 8 types of childminders I hate the most

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By Summer guest blogger: A. Grumpleminder

There are lots of things I hate about childminding – parents who are rude or late, thoughtless footwear, potty training, snotty-nosed children, small children in general – but the thing I hate the most about childminding is: other childminders. You know who you are – the ‘goody-goody’ ones who make the rest of us look bad with your flexible attitude to your job, helpful attitude to parents and general fondness of children. Here is my list of childminders who make me want to throw up and why. If you’re reading this, I bet you’re on this list somewhere!

 

1. Childminders who are ‘flexible’ to help out parents

Did you know that some childminders hold spaces for children when grandparents visit? Or allow children to attend on random days of the week, or for different hours each week? There are even some who go over their ratios to help out parents. Why bother with all that extra paperwork and complications, I say? Why put yourself out to help out some parent who probably calls you a babysitter behind your back? I mean, if the mum is on shift work or can’t get off work 15 minutes early to collect her child then she really ought to find a more flexible job in my opinion. Or just not work. I hate childminders who help out parents by being flexible. Why should you make the parents’ problem into your problem?

 

2. Childminders who waste the good tissues on small children

I hate snot even more than I hate poo and wee. And when I see it, I just have to get rid of it before it gets onto my furniture or carpet. But seriously, I wouldn’t waste good tissues on childminded children. Just get some of that recycled toilet paper. The scratchier the better will encourage them to sniff more. Anyway, don’t forget that if they make each other sick you have an excuse to send them home.

 

3. Childminders who let children wear shoes

top ten types of childminders I hateWhen a parent drops their child off to my house wearing shoes, they are implying that they are expecting me to actually take their child somewhere over the course of the day. Or to let them actually play in MY back garden. I have banned shoes entirely at my setting and recommend you do the same. When we do the school run, I strap the lot of the little darlings into the pushchair, stacked if necessary. Whenever I see a childminder with 3 little children all walking along hand in hand in reflective jackets, I want to throw up.  I mean, why waste your time teaching someone else’s children road safety? It’s not your problem!

 

4. Childminders who make food for the children that they actually like

Some childminders give children food they like and even treats to eat, even though it is not an Ofsted requirement. Who would waste biscuits and treats on childminded children? What really makes me even angrier are the childminders who give the children biscuits and buy them ice creams and treats and don’t even charge the parents for these items! It’s like they like children so much they seem to want to do nice things for them just out of the goodness of their hearts! It’s not like Ofsted is watching when you do nice things – so why do them?

 

5. Childminders who look after children with SEND

As if childminding isn’t bad enough already, do you have any idea how much extra work it would be looking after children with disabilities or special needs?  And yet there are childminders out there who actually make a point of accepting children with disabilities into their houses? And the worst thing is that many of these childminders don’t even charge parents MORE for looking after SEND children?  If you are one of those types of childminders, who look after children with special needs and don’t turn them away from your house, please be assured you are right at the very top of my Hate List.

 

6. Childminders who take the children on day trips

day trips for childmindersSome childminders take the children to petting farms and to soft play gyms. They strap them into the car, and take them places just so the children can have a nice day out somewhere. If this is you, what a waste of effort!  I mean, they’re not even YOUR kids. I figure, I get paid the same lousy amount per hour whether I sit on my bum watching day time soaps or put in loads of effort to take them on outings. Why waste the effort to take them places?

 

7. Childminders who seem to actually care about child development

Did you know that there are childminders out there who have actually read Development Matters?  Worse than that, there are the childminders who have read it well enough to actually point out proper concerns about child development to parents and encourage parents to seek help from other professionals.  Everyone knows that Progress Checks and Learning Journeys should be treated for what they are: worthless paperwork for Ofsted. So what if children have problems? Let their reception teacher sort them out – she’s paid more than you are.

 

8. Childminders who make nice little gifts for parents

When I see photos online of rows of little Fathers’ Day cards or Christmas presents for parents, especially those where I can see that the childminder has spent her own money on the gift, I just want to take that childminder and shake her and say, don’t you see, you’re being used!  Parents are paying you for a service, just like washing your car or getting your drains declogged. You don’t tip the Dyno Rod guy! Children are essentially just like little clogged pipes. When you think of them that way, it makes childminding so much easier.

 

Note from Kay Woods

I hope you don’t mind that I let my dear friend A. Grumpleminder write this blog. I may have to be a bit more selective about guest bloggers in future. I think she misses the point, don’t you?

I think the real point is that all over the country there are childminders going the extra mile unthanked by parents or children, for the extra work they do at very low pay. There are childminders out there doing good when nobody is watching, taking the attitude that you can’t fix all of society’s problems but you can help the world out a little by helping one child, one day at a time. I expect you are on her list there somewhere and if you are, well done and thank you, for all the little extras you do for all those lucky small people. =)

I only wish more parents would read this too so they would also understand a little better about all the little extras they too often take totally for granted.

 

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About Kay Woods and Kids To Go

Kay Woods Kids To GoKay Woods has been writing and selling childminding resources through her company Kids To Go since 2008. Her products include the Ultimate Childminding Checklist, the Learning Journey Plus for planning, observation and assessment and best practice resources promoting diversity, safety and childminding in the great outdoors (Forest Childcare). She is the author of the Start Learning book set published by Tarquin and she writes the free quarterly Childminding Best Practice Newsletter.

Lots of places offer help to childminders. I provide solutions.

http://www.kidstogo.co.uk/childminders/childminding.html


26 Comments

  1. Emma says:

    This is the worst blog I’ve read in a long time. Don’t be a childminder if you think of kids as little clogged pipes. I think you would make the perfect traffic warden. Pretty much a solitary job where you don’t really need to talk to anyone because you have zero people skills.

  2. Kev Perry Kevzkidz childminding... says:

    Hahaha absolutely brilliant. More should read that goes without saying and on all them list. Wouldn’t change a thing. Love everything I do for the children and the parents…

  3. Brilliant! Enough said! Oh, just one more point, loved the stacking of those awful kids in the buggy 😉

  4. Thirtyeen says:

    Oh I got a good laugh out of this. Makes me appreciate my children’s old childminder all the more, and realise more than ever that I’m choosing the right path in looking to become a childminder!

    • Kay Woods says:

      So glad you enjoyed the article. And I just wanted to wish you good luck with training and becoming a childminder. It is a very rewarding job and I hope you have lots of luck with it. =) Best wishes, Kay

  5. Carol says:

    Right Kay. Am I right in thinking that I read somewhere that you were doing themed weeks/monthly. If so could u please let me have the infor and charge x

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  6. Ruth Kingshott says:

    Dear Kay
    Thanks for that made me laugh ,one of my ex parents sent it to me
    Am very proud to say am one them l think if we go that little extra mile the rewards out weight the effort .l registered almost 27years ago .”only a child when l started,”over the years I’ve minded over 100 children some short term couple of week one almost 11years but the children and parents have left as friends .yes it is a tough job and the money not great .but we are so lucky we get small people and help them grow into amazing young adults .to me to be a small part that is the best part the job I’ve had the amazing kids and the most supportive parents but l alway remember you can’t do this job well if you don’t have a,support from your family .and my are just amazing

    • Kay Woods says:

      Hi Ruth, I enjoyed reading your comment. I can’t believe you have been minding for 27 years! A childminder friend of mine emailed me the other day to say she had reached 25 years and I thought it would be good if Ofsted sent you a little silver star to go on your certificate for your silver anniversary! =)
      So glad to hear from someone enjoying childminding and you have obviously found it a rewarding career. Enjoy the long weekend.
      Best wishes
      Kay

  7. Btinternet says:

    Lord, but you got me worried then! 😂

    Then I wondered if my husband had ghosted it! Xx

    Best wishes, Julie Price

    >

  8. Mary Hewson says:

    Thank you Kay made me chuckle . Love a bit of fun thankyou you made a very tired childminder smile tonight xxx

  9. Dawn says:

    How funny !!!! Made my day reading this , as I can relate to so much of it , you do have to go that extra mile to be a good childminder and my parents are aware of that and appreciate me for it .x

  10. Wendy Bradshaw says:

    That is hilarious 😂 I was reading that thinking I do ALL of them!! EVEN READ DEVELOPMENT MATTERS, My mindies come every morning with pj’s on, then I wash and dry them ready for parents😱 thing is I love my job and I would never change it for the world!!

    >

    • Kay Woods says:

      Ah, Wendy, that sounds so nice and I’m so glad that there are childminders out there like you. Love the idea of them coming in their PJs. I just hope the parents appreciate how awesome you are to help them out in this way! x

  11. maxine says:

    You dont need to publish negative things about childminders, even if you are trying to be facetious . We are already despised by other teaching professionals and utterly underappreciated by all sectors of society. This only goes to confirm, to some people anyway, that most CMs are rubbish.

  12. teresa boxell says:

    Hi Kay I have always tried to be flexible and never implemented late charges because I try to understand that parents may be late due to traffic or unplanned meetings. I recently was confronted with a situation where a parent was constantly late, not 15 minutes but half hour, this happened every day, this parent also decided to drop the child earlier too. I decided to hold a meeting with her to ask if we could change the times which she eventually accepted however once this was sorted, the child was picked up even later, 7 pm at night and being my first child arrived at 630 am this was becoming a joke. After several meetings to discuss this, I had to let her go, this parent decided not to pay me for the work I had already done.  Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there always that one person you can’t please.  Anonymous 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

    • Kay Woods says:

      Hi Teresa, I’m sorry that happened to you because that is totally unfair. You were being helpful, but then so many parents end up just taking advantage of people being helpful and in your case it backfired. I wonder if you are now more strict about your late payment charges? I know I would be. Thanks for commenting, Kay

  13. Stella says:

    Dearest Kay,
    I couldn’t stop laughing as I read and noted that ‘that’s me’ and ‘ yep that’s me too’ I feel I want to print this artical off and give it to all my parents to read, new and long standing. Maybe, just maybe us Childminder’s will be looked at as ‘saints’ not glorified babysitters
    Thankfully my long standing parents greatly appreciate everything I do, but new ones do seem to want everything for next to nothing in .
    Keep us smiling Kay, very much appreciated.

  14. Liz Aloi says:

    Absoulutely hilarious… I’m on all of those ! 😂

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