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The complete list of things childminders hate

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This list from real childminders makes me laugh out loud. Did we miss anything? If so, please add it to the comments at the bottom of the page!


progress-check-age-2Felt tip pens with no lids

Converse on babies

Kids jumping/kneeling/falling/bouncing on my furniture





The kiddies shouting my name every 2 seconds but they don’t actually want anything

Kids emptying every box till they can no longer see the floor then resisting tidying up!!

Pull ups

Parents insisting their child is ready for potty training


Helicopter parents

Parents who show children no boundaries

Taking off socks and shoes on car journeys

Wet wipes ripping as you need to pull one out fast

Toys which make noises.

Lego – Jürgen Lousberg

Noise sorting through Lego pieces makes.

Anything that gets stuck up my nails – clay, playdough, gloop, slime

Boys that can’t pee straight! Just the thought makes me want to disinfect my toilet again.

Mixing up the colours of playdough

Ofsted inspectors

Bad manners at meal time

Parents who walk in with their shoes on (when they’ve stood there and heard me tell their kids to remove their shoes) and then sit on the arm of my sofa!!

Cooked rice that falls on the floor

Wobbly teeth

Parents who mollycoddle their child

Parents who tell you their child doesn’t nap but then you find out that they nap at nursery

Parents who forget to tell you the child has an injury or you find out in a chance conversation that they have an inhaler or have had hospital appointments about a condition you know nothing about.

Being called a ‘babysitter’


Please add your own to the comments and share to make someone laugh today!


Photos reproduced under Creative Commons License.

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About Kay Woods and Kids To Go

Kay Woods has been writing and selling childminding resources through her company Kids To Go since 2008. Her products include the Ultimate Childminding Checklist, the Learning Journey Plus for planning, observation and assessment and best practice resources promoting diversity, safety and childminding in the great outdoors (Forest Childcare). She is the author of the Start Learning book set published by Tarquin and she writes the free quarterly Childminding Best Practice Newsletter.

Lots of places offer help to childminders. I provide solutions.


  1. Diane Wilks says:

    Parents who arrive for pick up then let the children go and play on the garden apparatus!!
    My playgarden is at the side of my house, beside the drive. I’ve asked (told) parents to not let the children use the equipment but I get “It’s just one go, they love it so much” They don’t even supervise the children 😤


  2. Krystalla Ward says:

    Haha – I hate all of those! Thought it was just me 😂I also hate sticky hands and green noses 😑


  3. stella says:

    LOL! thank you for a much needed laugh. may I add one for your list; parents who talk to their children like they re dogs ” who’s a good boy then!, yes you are yes, yes you are!” I don’t even talk to my animals like this and when a certain dad picks up, I cringe as I am trying my hardest to get his child to talk more clearly.


  4. Arminda Afonso says:

    Good afternoon Kay thankyou for keeping send information’s all so the 50 EYFS Art projects needs to updating the calendars 2020 thankyou Sent from Mail for Windows 10



  5. Sarah Wray says:

    Hi. Please could you let me know how to get the updated version of the checklist. I previously purchased the old version. Kind regards Sarah Wray

    On Fri, 4 Oct 2019 at 09:48, Childminding Best Practice wrote:

    > Kay Woods posted: “This list from real childminders makes me laugh out > loud. Did we miss anything? If so, please add it to the comments at the > bottom of the page! Felt tip pens with no lids Converse on babies Kids > jumping/kneeling/falling/bouncing on my furniture” >


  6. Jennifer Fishpool says:

    Grated cheese, it always goes everywhere and as a cheese lover I hate to see cheese wasted!


  7. Sharon says:

    Pull up nappies 😱


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