What can you do for Father’s Day if you look after a child that does not have a father present in their life?
Unlike Mother’s Day, which is a much older celebration, it is less clear how Father’s Day started. I like the most generally accepted story that is was started in 1910 by an American woman called Sonora Louise Smart who was raised, along with her siblings, by her father. She thought that father’s should also have a special day and the idea was adopted by local clergymen. The idea spread and in 1972 President Richard Nixon made Father’s Day a legally recognised holiday by law. The tradition made its way across the sea and now we also celebrate Father’s Day in Britain.
Maybe Sonora and her family celebrated Mother’s Day as well. After all, it is possible that her father filled the role of both parents, being both a father and a mother figure. However, if this version of events is true then the original intent of the day is clear. Father’s Day was and is a special occasion to celebrate the father figures who love and care for us. In my mind this does not matter what form they come in.
Days like Father’s Day are an ideal time to explore different types of families with your children. Families come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes and this should be reflected in your setting and the resources you provide for the children. Open ended resources like peg dolls are ideal, as they can represent all sorts of different things, depending on the children, but also look for diverse families in other resources such as books and stories. If you only have the room or budget for one book I find the Todd Parr books good, as the characters are all brightly coloured cartoons, meaning that, again, they can represent anyone.
If you have a child without a father don’t exclude them from any activities you are doing for Father’s day. Instead talk to all the children about the sorts of things that the special grown-ups in their life do for them. Do they have grandparents that help care for them? Is Mum a single parent fulfilling the role of mum and dad or is she in a same sex relationship meaning that the child has two mummies? You may have children that are living with a foster family or cared for entirely by grandparents. Make sure you provide Father’s Day activities and crafts that are more open to individual interpretation, such as making sweets or cakes that anyone can enjoy, rather than stereotypical representations of fatherhood like pictures of ties or models of toolboxes. This way everyone can be easily included, including daddies who hate DIY and never wear a tie!
For children and families that have lost a father due to death, Father’s Day may be especially difficult. In these instances it is important to work sensitively with the family to discuss what they would like to do. They may like to make a gift for someone else in the family, or may wish to make something to help remember their daddy by. Do not presume, each family is different so follow their wishes. Sharing books like, ‘The Invisible String,’ by Patrice Karst can be helpful.
(Tip: If you have already explored these subjects with your children and families before Father’s Day it can help make the day a little kinder on those who may find it difficult.)
Something to think about: Research conducted in America suggests that children raised without a father have a much greater risk of being raised in poverty, are more likely to have behaviour issues, are at greater risk of death in infancy and are more likely to become to commit crimes, go to prison, abuse alcohol or drugs, drop out of school or have a teenage pregnancy. This does not mean this will definitely happen, many children raised in loving single parent families, will grow up to lead happy and productive lives. However, if you have children with an absent parent you need to be aware that they may need additional love and support. This does not necessarily have to be difficult. Simply providing a safe consistent and loving environment for children can help them develop higher self esteem and help protect against depression and anxiety.
If you would like help exploring other diversity topics in a thoughtful and meaningful way you will find the following useful:
Join the Childminding Best Practice Club and receive a toolkit every month containing a special diversity or British values activity. Past activities have included things like specially written and illustrated diversity stories to print out and share with your children and families, invitation to play ideas to celebrate Earth Day, craft ideas for Mother’s Day and role play resources to make and play with when learning about International Nurses Day.
The monthly toolkits also contain resources and planning to help you provide activities and learning opportunities based around a theme, as well as a monthly training module.
Members also receive a generous 25% off lots of other Welly Wren resources, such as the Ultimate Childminding Checklist, supporting you in every aspect of your childminding adventure.
The Diversity Awareness MEGA pack
The Diversity Pack Mega Pack is a comprehensive collection of 20 mini printable packs, carefully crafted to equip childminders to teach 20 essential Diversity and British Values topics.
Each mini pack delivers impactful messages on important diversity and British Values themes, tailored for 2-5 year old children, providing all the necessary tools to navigate through complex topics at a level suitable for young minds. In total, the Mega Pack features 50 original art projects with templates, alongside over 100 suggested activities, including printable activity sheets and engaging cooking projects.
